"Holocaust on a Conveyor Belt."

This is a subject that is extremely close to my heart. It saddens me to know that this is happening everyday. EVERY FUCKING DAY.

Hello, boys & girls!

Yes, it has been way too long since i posted something on here. WAY TOO LONG.

Life has been, well, life. In my previous posts, i often talked about looking for something more in life. (Always, always talking about living my dreams and visions and whatever that's accepted in the same context.) And i'm sure you've been wondering where i went disappearing to all these time, yes?

So here's what really happened.

If you've been following me in the previous years, you'd know i grew up with my grandparents and how attached i am to the both of them. A fateful day in February, 2012 my grandpa passed away. It was the most painful time for me. I understood that he was old and death was well, definite. Not only for him, but for every one of us. That got me thinking, the sorrow and pain i went through somehow managed to rewire certain parts of my brain and i began to ask questions. Questions involving life and its existence. Why am i here? What is my purpose?

Blood shot eyes, distress, weight loss, disinterest to go on with my mundane life, i carried on. But things were not the same. I didn't enjoy the things that i used to enjoy, i fell out of love with the things i thought i loved. I became a mindless machine. But at the same time, seeking answers to all the questions. I suffered from nightmares night after night, the same damn images reoccurring, waking up to a wet pillow day after day. I was a depressed being, unable to cope with the pain. Not only with the fact of my grandfather's death but also the very fact that anything and everything is impermanent. I had to come to terms with the Universal Law of Nature.

I quit my job, moved back to my parents house back in a little township, hoping i'd find something there. 3 months of moping around in isolation and self realization, i decided to move to Langkawi Island and work in an animal shelter. That was the first step. The death of Ego. I cleaned and cared for sick, homeless animals. Moving from a well paying corporate job to this, my family and friends thought i had finally lost my mind. But i did it anyway, not caring about the input of others in regards to my "life-changing" decision.

I found happiness in the littlest things. Things that never caught my attention before; how a butterfly flutters its wings, how an army of ants look carrying the day's findings back home to their community or how beautiful the rays of the sun look when it's setting. Yes, little things like that. That gave me a different perspective of life. I made a lot of good friends, lived life like a true island girl. No longer the pump heeled, brand conscious,10-inch make up bearing "woohoo" corporate bitch i was. It was definitely an amazing experience.

Reality set in after almost a year of living an island life. I had family back home and i had responsibilities as a human being. Secretly (and selfishly), i never wanted to move away from the island life. It was everything i've ever wanted. But then again, is it really?

Back in the big city and i was pretty adamant with my childhood wishes of pursuing Veterinary Medicine, only to realize that was not practical. Not practical at all. Not that practicality was on my mind this whole time but like i said, perspective. It all boils down to perspective again. I came to a realization that i needed that break, i needed the change of environment. Call it a hiatus if you like. Hiatus from life. Hiatus from reality. With all that i have experienced; the metamorphosis, has definitely been eye opening. I am more conscious, more aware, be it personal situations or a world crisis. The transition, the experience is all I needed to have a clearer picture.

“Chaos is what we’ve lost touch with. This is why it is given a bad name. It is feared by the dominant archetype of our world, which is Ego, which clenches because its existance is defined in terms of control.” – Terence McKenna

I leave you with a cover of The Beatles, Because from Across the Universe. More ramblings soon. x

It's been a year!

OMG!

Today marks a year since i last blogged. 

Damn.

"Excuse me. How do i get to Looneyville?"

Every morning, on the way to work, i see this lady who talks to the sky (Yes, you read it correctly. TALKS. TO. THE. SKY) And when i say talk, i mean full on pastor-like enthusiasm with massive hand gestures and facial expressions. She never seemed to bother anyone though. There was this one time where she was holding up a newspaper and reading it to the sky. O.O 

She looks real decent though. Well groomed and all that. But there she is, every single morning. THAT SAME SPOT. TALKING TO THE SKY. 

cra·zy

[krey-zee] 

adjective

1.mentally deranged; demented; insane.

2.senseless; impractical; totally unsound: a crazy scheme.

Source: Dictionary.com

I'm not trying to be a bitch and call some innocent lady who has some electrifying feelings for the sky crazy but.. hey, the mind wonders okay?

Questions in my head. What is her story? Where does she live? Where is her family? Why does she talk to the damn sky?!

Most importantly, how do you even know you're losing it? 

*scares me shitless. 

I guess i'll have to keep wondering. 

Until I find my way to Looneyville myself. I sure hope not.

Happy Fasting!

Hi.

Hope you are well.

The holy month of Purattasi (observed by most Hindus) began on the 18th of September. So, that means;

- NO MEAT & EGGS

- NO SMOKING (diediedie)

- NO ALCOHOL

- NO CURSING

- NO MASTURBATION

... for me.

To clear things a little, this restrictions are followed through by your own beliefs. Some people who observe the fast are okay with eating eggs, smoking or masturbating. It really does depend on your own beliefs. There is no such thing as forcing yourself because that just defies the whole purpose of the fast.

For those who are observing, happy fasting. 

Daily essentials.

"The best thing is to look natural, but it takes makeup to look natural." 

- Calvin Klein

These are a few essentials you can find on my dresser and in my makeup bag;

And the best one of all!

Hello, new hair!

:) :)

You think it's fake? Think again!

Damnit.

2+ months! WTF

I realize i keep making promises that i obviously cannot keep up to. And...

I'M SORRY. *puppy dog eyes*

I've been caught up with workworkwork. It's been really good though. But i REALLY do miss blogging. No, really. I do.

If you remember, in one of my previous posts, i had been rambling on about finding a job that has that little something-something more to offer. Yeah, so i THINK i found it. 3 months into the job. A little early to say? You think? Mmm.. Maybe. Maybe not. (I still don't wanna jinx anything though) *touches wood*

Other than work, everything else is pretty much the same. Except maybe i've gained a bit more weight. Maybe a whole lot more. I dunno. I can't tell. (Yeah, right.) *shifty eyes*

Oh, i do get manicures and pedicures pretty often these days. And i get to wear make up and sky high heels to work. And the occasional knee-high stockings that somehow manages to get a whole lot of disapproving stares. You see, i'm the youngest in the office- a little more fashion forward, a little more outgoing and outspoken. So yeah, all the women (well, all three to be exact) are married with kids and the only thing they talk about are their kids, what they plan to cook for dinner later that night or what helps them get through menopause.

Ick.

And i smoke. Like a motherfucking chimney. (No, not proud of it. Thanks.)

"Oh, my God. I didn't know you smoke! Why do you smoke?!"

Okaaay. So here's the deal. You NEVER EVER EVER ask people WHY they smoke. I mean, come on, that's like asking people why they masturbate!

But yeah, i'm coping. Adjusting to the new environment. They've stopped asking me weird questions about myself. (Like why "force" myself to wear really high heels everyday or if i have gotten breast implants) Just to set the record straight, i love wearing heels! And no, my boobs are not fake. Thanks.

There's a little about what's going on right now with me. I hope all of you are well. (IFFF i have any readers, really.) I'll leave you with a picture of myself and Jasmine. You know, just in case you forgot how i look. Hey, 2+ months is a reaaallllyy long time, okay?

 

Yeap, that's me. Happiest when i'm high.

Have a great week, motherfuckers!

Much love,

Bunny Wabbit.

Untitled.

I once asked him, "Would you die for me?" (LAME, i know)

And he answered, "If it was necessary."

I think i understand what he meant now.

Have a great weekend, babies.

Blogging from my new office. Wee~

So yeah, i got a job! That doesn't involve angry customers! *shiny eyes*

More updates soooon!

xx